Sleep is a difficult bodily function during the summer months in Britain mainly due to two factors; light and sound. Firstly being higher on the planet means that the sun sets later and rises earlier. Dusk can be as late as 11pm and dawn can begin at 3:00am. British birds at dawn begin to fulfil their natural duty of morning song which normally would not be a problem as the double glazed windows* would be firmly shut. However, occasionally the weather in Britain gets warm, even in the evening and through the night that keeping the windows shut makes the room unbearably stuffy. Air conditioning is unheard of in homes. There are three reasons for this: 1. It rarely gets hot enough to merit it. 2. The houses do not have air ducts to facilitate the blowing of cool air, and 3.It rarely gets hot enough to merit it. Further more in my bedroom is the airing cupboard*. (The airing cupboard is a closet that houses the hot water tank and is the usual place to store linens as it’s the warmest and driest place in the house). 
During the hot and stuffy night with the windows open you are exposed to a barrage of sounds. Depending on the night and the time of the night, the sounds vary. Weeknights it is more commonly the general sound of traffic, sirens and the faraway sound of a train horn coming into the station over a mile away. Any night you may benefit from the experience of a multitude of moped drivers fulfilling their fantasies of driving proper motorcycles. The distinct sound of an engine on helium is the glory of the moped driver. With the streets clearer of regular traffic these adolescents profit. Up and down and around the roads, those lined with homes seem to be the preferred choice as they’re out of the way of any proper vehicles. 
Weekdays are also the exploit of the bin men (garbage men). Which council in which one lives determines what one can expect in regards to waste disposal and recycling. In our council, the following are collected by the bin men: glass, paper, glass, cardboard, glass, cans, glass, garden waste, glass, plastic, glass, styrofoam, glass, and food waste and glass. Our council has a well organised and managed system that starts early in the morning and comes every Tuesday. A video of how efficiently this process is achieved can be viewed below. This particular video was filmed at 6:30 in the morning, a time which one would not normally wish to wake. 
British blood has two components, depending on the time of day; alcohol or tea. Before noon it is usually tea, but not always*. Weekend nights, in particular, alcohol dominates their veins. Pubs use to be obliged by law to close at 11PM. A bell would be rung denoting last call and there would be a mad dash to see how many more drinks could be consumed in those ten minutes. When the pubs shut all the cliental would be dumped on British streets. This had been the common practice for serval centuries. However the mayhem that ensued finally reached it’s threshold of tolerance and the government made the enlightened decision that a slow trickle of the inebriated  was better for public health and safety. Pubs and bars can now stay open as long as they like. Previously the drunken hoards would all flood the streets at a set time and end approximately an hour after departure. With all the drunks comfortable passed out by midnight, allowing sleep for those unable to make it to the pub was possible. 
Now with the new drinking laws hoards of folks returning from a night of revelry can go on indefinitely though out the night. Alcohol affects the hearing of the British profoundly forcing them to speak very loudly so their counterparts can hear them better. Jovial singing is also best accomplished and enjoyed at this time as all the concentrated inhibitions are liberated. 
Another challenge to sleep is the British custom of a summer barbecue*. Being a nation that is primarily enclosed due to the weather, creates a widespread and chronic case of cabin fever. Thus when the weather is not complete and utter shite, the British go outdoors and stay there for as long as possible. Barbecues (as they call them though no barbecue is actually prepared, only the grilling of hamburgers and sausages) is the celebrated glory of the summer months. These events can start as early as 1PM and continue until the host ejects the guests or that they simply pass out on the lawn. When weather permits, in any typical neighbourhood on a weekend one can expect several of these barbecues being hosted by several neighbours. Fireworks are usually the climax of the evening, but can only be enjoyed once it’s properly dark. Dusk can be as late as 11pm in some parts of the country at the height of summer. 
Once the barbecues have settled down and the sun has finally set the British street lights begin their nuclear orange glow. They achieve a contradictory duality. These lights prevent true darkness needed in order for the body to produce melatonin, yet they don’t provide any truly functional illumination. Walking soberly under these lights can cause disorientation. On clear nights stars are invisible and on cloudy nights orange light is reflected back down giving everything a Stanley Kubrick-esque eerie glow. 
Murders on a nearby street is another common sound that one can expect to hear periodically in the middle of the night. The murders are apparently knife attacks as no gun shots are heard, only the last sounds of the screaming victim. No one seems bothered by these murders as the reassurance given is that the sounds were only a fox cry. Foxes are nocturnal and prevalent in the country side and suburban areas. Doubtful of these explanations I searched Youtube and found an example of an actual fox cry. Fox "Scream"
By 3:30 am the foxes and the drunks are generally silenced. That is when the sunrise starts, and depending on the position of the bedroom windows, can mean that the sun comes barreling in brilliant and bright by 4:30am. Black-out blinds may be purchased and fitted to the windows, but there is always a light leak. Thick curtains are also required which usually diffuse the light leakage making the curtains seem like a dim television screen. Peculiarly the sun is the sunniest in the early morning. Many days the sun shines for the first several hours only to be shielded by the clouds for the duration of the day. 
Perhaps it is due to these challenges to summer sleeping that have created a nation of tea addicts, I can not say. I will say however, that for many months of the year summer is yearned for, yet once hear is either sadly annoying or a disappointment.

*Topics for another blog entry

Booze and the British

Booze and the British is a topic I'm sure to revisit. It's the social elixir that makes human interaction lasting more than ten minutes tolerable. The prevalence of alcohol in day-to-day settings seems shocking until you become immune. The local corner grocery store does more than just sell beer and wine, it has a bursting liquor section as well. This photo only shows half.

It has been a very very very long while since my previous post. I had a baby and that was my time suck for the last 5 years. In the meantime Google has improved their interface for blogger so I'm no longer put off by the arduous task of typing a blog and adding photos. I've also embraced a Facebook page for this blog, and will probably add Twitter, Instagram to it too.

Okay, so I just had a baby and have been out of action for a while, but I'm back now. I will continue my blog with highlights of the NHS, and other very British things soon.

British Food

To live in Britain there are three main stereotypes that have to be overcome once you've arrived. The first is that they drink loads of tea, well that's mostly true but don't forget the alcohol. The second is that it always rains, this is not true, it does not rain all the time. It is however very cloudy many days of the year. And thirdly is that the British food is bland and boring, well let me correct that stereotype right away, baked beans, potatoes and peas are not bland and with some variations on a theme several meals can be created.

Let's start with potatoes which have a special place in the British heart. Potatoes in Britain, as in American, are very versatile, in fact I've only found one use for a potato here that I never heard of in the States. There is a dish called a Chip Butty, chip being British for fries, and butty is a sort for bun. Now this may make those Atkin's Diet followers of you cringe, but the idea is very simple, you take some fries and eat them on a sandwich. Great. It's filling, it's warm, inexpensive and can be dressed with either butter or ketchup (or tomato sauce as it's called in Britain).

Now let's move on to Baked Beans, they're so versatile that the British eat them for breakfast, lunch or dinner. Baked beans do not usually contain weenies or sausages they're just beans alone. You can buy beans and sausages but they're on a different aisle at the grocery store from the regular baked beans aisle. Heinz is the king of baked beans as is noted in their own ad campaign that has been running for roughly fifty years, "Beanz Meanz Heinz". There are other brands and even, GASP, store brands. Beans, like potatoes go good with bread, usually toasted, or combined with potatoes in a form called a jacket potato (stuffed baked potato). Heinz even makes a cookbook for their Baked Beans where one can find interesting ideas like Baked Bean Sushi.

Finally onto peas which are sold separately in the frozen food section from the other vegetables. I'm assuming this is so regular pea consumers who don't like all other vegetables won't be dissuaded by their affiliations. Peas are the number one green vegetable on British plates. But to make plain old English peas (now you know why they're called that) more interesting, sometimes they're mushed up and called mushy peas. See not boring in the least.

Tea is Better than Penicillin

In my time here I have discovered that no beverage sums up a nation better than tea does for Britain. Sure they drink alcohol, and lots of it. The French have their wine, Americans have coffee and soda, but I don't think there is anywhere in the world where almost every aspect and circumstance or event can be tied to a single beverage. In fact when I mentioned the title of this post to some British friends of mine I received no argument.

If you're cold, have a nice cup of tea. If you're hot, have a nice cup of tea. They swear that the hot tea cools you off, "cleans your pores". I have trouble following this logic when it warms you up as well, but don't argue just say thank you and drink it. There is yet to be a situation that couldn't be fixed with a nice cup of tea. 

A few weeks back I had to have a minor procedure that required a little local anesthetic. Once it was all finished, I gathered up my belongings and made my way to the door. Promptly I was stopped by my nurse. She looked very worried. "Oh no dear, you can't leave yet, you've not had _____". I thought she was going to say " a doctor check you out" or "your sign-out papers" or "enough time since the procedure to make sure you're all right". No, what she said was "...you've not had tea and biscuits". I was not allowed to leave the hospital because I had not been witnessed consuming tea and biscuits. Swiftly I was lead into a waiting room with other patients who were already drinking their tea and eating their biscuits. I was  given tea and a choice of biscuits. Once consumed I was allowed to leave.

I'm sure that I'll touch on the subject of tea many times, but here is one tip: If you're ever in a awkward situation with a Brit, the best thing you can say is "I'll go and put the kettle on".

Hello

Hello and welcome to my blog. 

I don't waste enough time on the computer yet so I thought I'd sign myself up for another activity. 

This will be  a chronicle or journal of observations of an American living in Britain. I'm not trying to please anyone, or offend either, I'm just going to tell as  I see it.

I've been living in Britain for 6 years now have finally started to feel comfortable here. There are things that still bother me, or that I find irksome since my emigration. To be fair, there are lots of things in the States that I now find annoying which I didn't while living there.

So here I go.... I hope you enjoy reading this, especially if you're American and want to live here, or if your British and wonder what your world looks like to an outsider.